Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Onision

Why I Love Onision!

I absolutely adore Onision's videos, they are so short and simple yet usually leave me going on a youtube binge of his videos! I have always been the type of person who enjoys blunt honesty and Onision definitely provides that.
Respect Points
Onision definitely scores some major respect points off me.
  • Despite vicious and unfounded rumors ranging from rape to abuse Onision continues to make videos. I love the fact that he hasn't given up despite the puss spewing mouths of jealous or simply dumb individuals.
  • Much like Family Guy or South Park, Onision takes a controversial topic and completely takes the mickey out of it. It's brilliant even when a video is directly insulting something I do like eat meat I'm still in stitches. It's just made even funnier with all his exaggeration and then funnier still when you scroll down. You get these really dumb people who didn't watch the video all the way through and are commenting the first thing to come into their head. Seriously if you go look at the post on dumb comments so many are people on Onision videos.
  • I'm going to be really superficial and silly but.... HAVE YOU SEEN THE POSTERS IN HIS HOUSE? I've spotted Kingdom Hearts and Advent Children posters in his videos. I know it's a silly thing to love him for but gosh darn it if I'm going to fangirl over John Green's knick nacks I will fangirl over Onisions!
  • Finally, this gif 
Also on a side note he does videos that insult everyone equally for example here is his video of racist jokes



Haters

Like any successful person Onision has haters. Honestly I have no problem with people hating things, for example I hate the Grand Theft Auto games because I find them really boring if you don't cheat. Still I understand loads of people love the gorgeous immersive gameplay. However, Onision's haters are prepared to make up some pretty crazy rumors with no evidence. Really if it wasn't for the age we live in many of them would have been arrested for deformation. I'm glad to see most haters get entirely stomped upon though, usually by one simple question: where is the proof?
Nota bene
Also, people blogs aren't proof even this one, a blog is simply meant to whet your appetite to go and do your own research. Anyone can write one, I honestly encourage you to check everything you read. Many people try to show 'evidence' of Onision's crimes by linking to blogs that are written by hater's that send you around in a circle without ever providing proof.



Sad Truth Is Honesty Is Rarely The Best Policy

Onision's brutal honesty is more than a lot of people can handle. Despite the disclaimer at the start of his videos warning not to take his content serious people still get their knickers in a twist over him. He put's his whole life on youtube and I think he knows the dangers of that, we've seen him through break ups and losing a baby. He is a real person and he is a strong person because he is strong enough to show the whole world when he's breaking. People still want to dis him but that just shows how small their little minds are.

Some Final Notes

As a joke I was chatting with some guys in the comment section of one of Onisions videos and ended up making an Onision prayer. I sincerely don't know how it happened it just did, but I can't think of a better place to put it so here it is XD

Oh Onision,
Praised be thy name,
Thy videos come,
Thy will be done.
By subscribing and liking thy videos.

Give us this day our daily video,
And forgive us our trolling,
As we forgive those who troll against us.
Lead us not into reality
But deliver us from evil.

Onision we give ourselves to thee,
Entertain us and educate us,
With google and thy self.
Through rumours and doubt,
In sarcasm and blunt honesty.
We will trust in thee...

Boob squeeze

Monday, 27 October 2014

Disappointments with Being on Student Council

This year I finally achieved my goal of becoming a Student rep. I've been trying for a long time but since I'm mostly a loner during school hours I never got enough votes. However, finally I'm in a position where I can do some good and maybe change my crapsack school for the better.

I've been trying rather desperately to work hard, but I feel like I'm the only one. I literally wrote seven pages of ideas to implement right away like incorporating memrise flash cards and simple stuff like that, but can't get the deputy head to even crack a page. It is rather disempowering but if that wasn't bad enough I tried desperately hard to make Halloween work at school. I sat down on itunes and shelled out for 20EUR of Halloween songs and made an awesome playlist to play during lunch hours. I even compiled a list of the cheapest easiest Halloween games and wrote and placed the clues for a murder mystery. However, the day the event was scheduled to take place, it was revealed that while the year head had been going 'ya ya ya' she actually hadn't even looked into any of the Halloween item.  This meant everything had to be canceled.

Saying I was crushed after three nights of staying up to 1am would be an understatement. She decided to drive another nail into me though by telling me I had missed a meeting. I was completely affronted since she was the one who hadn't bothered to turn up that day (while I had crawled to school despite being very ill only to find her not there). What meeting was it? The meeting for Juniors. I didn't lose my cool I just let her words go into background noise and left hastily hoping my day would improve.

I'm feeling pretty disempowered right about now. When we met the other schools student councils our school was clearly the worse, I was the only one who seem to be able to speak in our group without bluffing and I brought my book of ideas. I'm sure we scored some brownie points there. Most schools had already managed to do an event and we had only just been elected and I felt embarrassed to be apart of my school. We really did look like the kids with learning disabilities taken to play with the big kids compared to the uber organised and well spoken crowds around us.

It just isn't taken seriously at our school and it needs to be and I really wish other people were trying and I wasn't on my own here. Maybe I try to hard for people who are only going to spit in my face at the end of the day.

Saturday, 18 October 2014

My Five Nights at Freddy's Theory

I love fan theories ^_^ so it's only natural to want to put a story to this top trending PC game. It's a very good game because of it's simplicity. Not being able to move makes you feel helpless and adds to the overall atmosphere of fear but let's get stuck in to this.

What We Know

Freddy's Basic Info

Animatronics&Suits:
Characters:
  • (Foxy) the Pirate Fox
  • (Chica) 'Let's Eat' Chicken
  • (Bonnie) Blue Bunny Rabbit
  • (Freddy) Big Singing Bear
  • (Golden Freddy) seems to be a spare Freddy suit
  • Miscellaneous inactive pieces of suit in back room
Details:

  • The characters are supposedly left in a free roaming mode to prevent their survos from locking up. 
  • It is not allowed for a mascot to be without its suit.
  • If they see you they will try to put you into one of these suits.
  • Due to the wire framing etc inside these suits being shoved into one will probably kill you.

Workers
  • Phone Guy: Previous employee who recorded voice messages for you
  • Mike Schmidt: Your player or at least whom your cheques go to.
  • Mike gets his pay cheque on a Friday that is '11/13' This is an American date (month before day). Years that have a Friday 13th of November include 1987, 1992, 1993 and 2009
Introductory Greeting From Company

"Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death have occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."

Cameras

Used to peer around all the rooms and read those delightful newspaper clippings on the wall. The kitchen has no camera only audio.

Incidents

  • Kidnap
  • Murder
  • Bite of '87 (resulting in someone losing their frontal lobe)

Missing Children and Killer

  • Two children presumed dead- June 26th. Killer was caught the next morning.
  • Police later linked the death of three more children to the incidents at Freddy's.
  • The children's bodies were never found, but they are presumed to be dead.
  • The killer lured them away by wearing the company's Mascot as a suit (that's Freddy).


We know five children went missing. Initially only two were lured away during an evening at Freddy's on the night of June 26th but police then link three more to Freddy's

Misc

  • The creator confirmed the place is haunted (well duh)
  • The phone guy says: "... If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too." 

Theory Time

One: The Killer & Killings

The killer was a security guard who worked at Freddy's to get close enough to kill children (and possibly other pedophilic things). He lures the children away from their parents to kill them in the backroom, the two mentioned murders he is convicted for take place in the evening. He used the Golden Freddy suit to lure them away (this suit does not have a skeleton and was not in use since regular Freddy was performing). The Freddy costume has faint handprints on its face which could be signs of resistance.
After killing them, he hid their bodies in the suits and later disposing of them inside the restaurant (multiple ways to do this but I reckon serving them up piece by piece sound statistically fitting (remember folks there are no cameras in the kitchen). Customers complain about a foul odor and blood and mucus coming out of the costumes. The killer is eventually convicted and (assuming the game is based in America) probably gets the death penalty and his spirit gets stuck there too. He is never shoved into a costume and therefore does not possess a suit.

Two: The Bite of '87

I believe the killer was working at Freddy's at the time of 'The Bite of '87'. I think considering that the only character with sharp teeth and a broken jaw is Foxy it's safe to assume he was the biter. The killer not yet quite ready to commit his first murder decided to tinker with the A.I (something your character is capable of doing on the last custom night). It was this tinkering that caused the robot Foxy suit to attack and destroy someone's frontal lobe. The victim apparently survives though this does irreparable damage to the reputation of the establishment. This incident is what whets the killers appetite and sets him on the murderous path that kills him. In the game on the custom nights if you set the characters A.I. to '1987' Golden Freddy will appear, roar and crash your game. 1987 hold particular significance to the killer and to you (but more on that later).

Three: The Spirits

The anguished spirits became trapped in a limbo inside Freddy's with no certain way to escape. They sense their killers presence but can't quite pinpoint it due to his lack of a suit.
Sensing his presence they wander and think if they kill him they can end they're limbo. When they last saw him he was a security guard, so they kill every security guard that they come into contact with and stuff them into a suit. They do this assuming it's the same guy and they just haven't killed him right or they're just exacting their revenge repeatedly.

Four: The Phone Guy

When they catch you they (barring Foxy who gives you a heart attack) will stuff you into a suit. Which suit? Golden Freddy. This is the final resting place of any security guard they catch since it was the one the killer wore when he killed them. The last security guard (who leaves you recorded messages) also suffers this fate.

Frequently throughout the game we see a message that says 'It's Me' accompanied by Golden Freddy. Golden Freddy can also appear in your room regardless of closed doors. This is the previous security guard who hasn't quite come to terms with his grizzly death trying to contact you. He's saying "It's me! from the recordings!" or just trying to get you to understand you know him. He will also write on the walls trying to get your attention or frequently appear in hallucinations with human bloodshot eyes.

He also leaves you a garbled almost demonic message after his loss of power and death.

I take it you've read the rules... (Don't touch Freddy)
I actually think the message here is the killer intervening, it's in his best interest not to get tagged by Golden Freddy.
This is a mixture of the phone guy and the killer.

Five: Foxy is Just As Scared As You

Foxy displays unusual behavior compared to the rest of the characters. Rather then wandering about he stays hidden in pirate cove and if he isn't watched for a period of time makes a break for your room. Foxy's stage is labelled out of order and his loosely hanging jaw and ripped decaying suit show his neglect.
At Freddy's the animatronics have to wear suits but Foxy's is so ripped if the others saw him I'm sure he'd most definitely get shoved into a new suit.
Foxy does not attack you. When he makes it into your office he quickly puts his head in and screams (if you listen to a full recording of his scream it sounds like a scared boy toward the end). You die of a heart attack, but foxy does not attack. If you close the door in time he bangs desperately on it and then hastily runs back to pirate cove to hide again. Perhaps in the child who is possessing Foxy's final moments he was hiding and tried to make a break to the office to ring the phone and now he runs for your help.

Six: You and The Killer

You play Mike Schmitd, what possesses Mike to stay five nights at Freddy's? How is he connected enough to not run away despite being payed about $4 an hour? During the bite of '87 (which I speculate was Friday 13th November 1987) a child was bitten by Foxy and the damage resulted in the loss of their frontal lobe. The frontal lobe is concerned with reasoning and decision making, people who mess up an attempted suicide can have personality changes from shooting this part of the brain out. It is essentially your personality, your soul if you will.
We've already established that the killer doesn't have a suit, but that doesn't mean he can't have one... a meat suit. You.
The killer's soul has been just as trapped as the children but it hasn't changed his nature, of course he is bound to Freddy's and it's assets. Mike was the child who was attacked and let's do some number crunching.
I would say a child that enjoyed the Chucky Cheese-esque entertainment who be around 10 years old or at least thereabouts.
 We know that Mike gets his paycheque on Friday the 13th of November
The only years that have this are
1987
1992
1993
1998
2009
With that in mind we can remember that Phone Guy said that the robots had been singing the same songs for 20 years. Now we can assume the restaurant was running before the bite so lets take four years off. 
1987+16=2003
the next Friday 13th of November is 2009.
Assuming Mike was 10 during the bite he would be 32 when receiving his paycheque. Mike is a prime candidate for being possessed by the killer, he was after all his first victim in ways. His connection to the place could allow him to be lead back there (think of Silent Hill) and possessed. This is what keeps him there for five days, the killer is actively taunting the children using you thinking there will be no consequence.

Why do I think he's possessed? Do you remember the complaints about the suits the customers had? They said they had a foul odor and likened them to walking carcasses. When you complete the custom night in the came you are fired...

Odor. It's a small thing but why would odor matter when you are the only guy in the building putting your life on the line? It would have to be rancid! Like rotting perhaps?

There is however a way to kill the killer. The Golden Freddy suit, when the killer sees it, it draws out his soul and crashes the game. He becomes bound to the suit he used to kill those children and one can assume they get their blood curdling revenge. You don't get stuffed into a suit if Golden Freddy is the one who gets you, so the real hero is the phone guy for possessing it and coming to you for help. If the suit appears and you put up the screen then you block the contact needed with the suit for the exorcism to take place.

Seven: The Children

The murderer hid three of the children's bodies in the suits available there before disposing of them. he didn't think to clean the suits which was the initial cause of the odor. Anyone who looked in the suits would find evidence of the murder but company policy:
 "..upon discovery of death, a missing person's report will be filed within 90 days or as soon as the floors have been bleached and the carpets replaced.."
The murderer was caught the morning after two more children went missing, he would not have had time to dispose of the bodies, he may not have even had a chance to put them all in suits. Think about it there are five children but only four costumes (Foxy, Chica, Bonnie and Freddy) if we consider that the killer was wearing one. This is probably what lead to his discovery and conviction, but the company then disposed of the bodies. this is why they were never found. One ghost never gets a suit, it draws pictures on the walls, laughs and giggles and changes the posters to help you solve the mystery.

Sweet dreams everyone

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Was Michelangelo Gay?

I recently stumbled over a picture on Facebook that made me want to do a little research.


If Michelangelo was gay then it would provide endless amusement to me just thinking of various homophobic Christians worshipping a picture created by a homosexual! Well let's explore this claim a bit.

Who's that holy man?
We know the picture is meant to be Jesus but the fact it's a good looking white guy makes me skeptical.
There are of course many pictures of Jesus that have fed the mental image of some beautiful blue eyed chick magnet carpenter, but it doesn't really take a rocket scientist to work out Jesus wouldn't look like that.

Church Deception and More Yaoi

Leonardo Da Vinci was close friends with Ceasar Borgia, the man who's father later becomes Pope Alexander VI. So close in fact they were believed to be lovers (I'm starting to see a trend). His father commissioned Leonardo to make a painting of Jesus using dear old Ceasar as the model. Ceasar wasn't exactly known for being a prude, other than Leonardo it would seem he also slept with his sister (not to mention killed his brother). So the face of Jesus in Leonardo's paintings was a handsome bisexual, incestuous murderer.

On a side note, it would seem that during the Renaissance there was a contest between Leonardo and Michelangelo to paint particular battles. It's very interesting reading so I put a some stuff in the sources for you.

Anyway back to Michelangelo, in contrast to Leonardo he definitely sounds a bit... well 'eww', known for wearing dogskins for a lengthy period of time till his skin peeled off when he took them off (excuse me while I vomit into my handbag). That aside it's clear to say he had talent but the question we want to answer is was he gay?
It is true that Michelangelo asked for male models where female ones would have made sense, it's sometimes hard to distinguish males and females in his work too. His work 'ignudi' (depicting 20 naked youths covered with oak leaves and acorns to resemble penises) would be enough for me to question if this guy preferred the other white meat (if you know what I mean).
That isn't really evidence though (I mean rule 34 and all), so what else would suggest he was gay? Well one thing I would like to say is that he didn't seem to rate women very highly at all, not even highly enough to learn how to draw a breast that didn't like a guy with two scoops of ice cream on his chest. Look at any piece where he drew a woman and find those hideously deformed breasts. I'm sorry but I refuse to believe that he was incapable of drawing good boobs after everything else being so amazing. In my mind I see it as he was either so disinterested in women he didn't know what he was meant to find attractive and just drew a man and slap some ice cream scoops on (then stood back and said to himself: seems legit) or he deliberately made women look grotesque.

Apparently there is a sonnet in which he says that the highest form of love cannot be for a woman, because a woman "is not worthy of a wise and virile heart.", unfortunately I can only find references to it and not the whole thing, I assume it must be in Italian. After looking at his work
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/srzmxpBK6/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/18k2lefgd9flwpng.jpg

I think he was probably gay but we have no proof and I'm not religious so I'm not going to start saying because it's written down it must be true.

If you have any additional information agreeing or disagreeing feel free to thrust it in my general direction and maybe we will eventually find some concrete evidence.
All that said, it doesn't really matter because either way Michelangelo was fabulous.

Sources for More Interest

Books
Renaissance Rivals: Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael. Titian, by Rona Goffen
Published by Yale University Press
Copyright: 2002
ISBN: 0-300-09434-5-5